I still meet people in my life today who judge me as weak, not good enough or less than because of some hang up they have that is none of my business.
They regard me as ‘down there’, below that person and above that person in that ‘place’ so they can make sense of what they haven’t bothered to understand. They like to criticise and ‘establish’ their ego from time to time to reaffirm their place in life, somewhere shaky and untenable.
I’m a natural target for those who are not ready or too scared to do work on themselves, because I have done the work, continue to do the work and cherish the journey.
I come from a place lost in darkness, unable to stand in clarity. I hid in the light for many years behind my business or behind some minor achievements and external delusions, but inside I was sick. I was out of balance, a workaholic achieving little in reality, nothing of substance that failed to quench the black hole inside me. The obstacles I encountered and relived for many years took me close to death and mentally I was worn out and desperate for real, lasting peace.
Today I bless those obstacles and the chaos of my past. They have been the greatest teachers in my journey.
Today, letting go no longer has a deep sense of foreboding attached to it. Instead it is a place of comfort, a solitude and a social hive all at one time, outside of time and within love. I wholly trust the process today.
I have been very lucky to work with Checo who I met at arboricultural college 10 years ago. We’ve grown as climbers and arborists together. Together, our skills have diversified and we’ve ended up in a place where one or both of us are capable of facing and working through new challenges associated in our industry. I’ve picked up skills around managing business and making a business work, whilst Checo has become lead climber, a dab hand with a saw and a spanner, and a sound working knowledge of tree rigging. As well as supportive roles helping with quoting jobs and administrative duties.
We’ve recently diversified the business into making furniture from trees we have felled with the help of Niall, a joiner who has recently joined us. This is an exciting time for us with more big steps ahead scheduled in the diary.